


I'm Sitting In A Field

by bobbiejelly



Series: Guess Who's Crushing on Addison Montgomery? [15]
Category: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice
Genre: F/F, MerAdd, meddison
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:40:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25226233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly
Summary: "Where are you?" Asks Addison. "I'm sitting in a field," answers Meredith. Takes place during "Freedom Part 2," the Season 4 Finale. After Meredith built the candle house, but before Derek shows up to find her. OR: In which Meredith Grey calls Addison Montgomery. MerAdd. Meddison. F/F. Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery. Phone call fic. Rated M.
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery
Series: Guess Who's Crushing on Addison Montgomery? [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797412
Comments: 8
Kudos: 14





	I'm Sitting In A Field

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fic: Like the Fortune Cookie Game (In Bed) (Grey's Anatomy, Meredith/Cristina, PG-13)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/647260) by scurvyknavery. 
  * Inspired by [What’s All The Fuss About](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/647479) by Escapismrocks. 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sitting in a field," Meredith sighs… Meredith is suddenly a bit ashamed of herself as she explains this to Addison.
> 
> "In a field?" Addison asks, rather shocked and confused.

_Author's Note: (This one is long- feel free to skip it!)._

Inspired by "Fic: Like the Fortune Cookie Game (In Bed) (Grey's Anatomy, Meredith/Cristina, PG-13)" by scurvyknavery, on Dreamwidth. In that fanfiction, Meredith calls Cristina from the field after she's built a candle house for Derek to win him over from Nurse Rose, but before Derek shows up with the missing champagne.

In this story, Meredith Grey calls Addison Forbes Montgomery from the field, instead. Femslash ensues. A few liberties are taken into consideration for Addison's current exact physical location because this happens chronologically in the very weird era of 2008-2009 where there were writer's strikes interrupting Grey's Anatomy and PP.

For example, Freedom Part 2 on GA aired May 22, 2008, and the closest PP episodes are "Worlds Apart," from December 17, 2008, and "Contamination," from January 8, 2009. It's over a year's gap at that point even though the plot of PP picks up right where it left off at the time… At this point in canon, Addison is seeing Kevin Nelson, the cop guy, while being tempted into flirting with Dr. Wyatt Lockheart from the rival practice, so that's what we're going to go with, here.

This all happens after the events of the first return of Addison to Seattle in GA-S4-E13, "Piece of My Heart," which in this story is presumed to have happened exactly as it had in both canons.

Content warning: Brief mentions of heterosexuality. Non-graphic mentions of straight-people sex. Fic generally rated M for Mature.

I consider these to be important content warnings for a femslash :).

Enjoy!

_bobbiejelly_

* * *

**I'm Sitting In a Field**

* * *

" _Where are you?" Asks Addison. "I'm sitting in a field," answers Meredith. Takes place during "Freedom Part 2," the Season 4 Finale. After Meredith built the candle house before Derek shows up to find her. OR: In which Meredith Grey calls Addison Montgomery. MerAdd. Meddison. F/F. Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery. Phone call fic. Rated M._

* * *

**Chapter 1: Dusk**

* * *

"Hi Addison, I know it's been a long time since we talked, but I wanted to know if you know where Derek is?" Meredith asks her current… McDreamy's wife if she knows where her…

 _Meredith isn't sure of that part yet but he was once not-quite-her-boyfriend-because-he-was-married-but-now-he's-not-but-then-he's-with-Rose-so,_ is…

"Meredith? Meredith Grey?" Addison asks, rather startled. "Where are you?" Addison responds as she sits up and checks to make sure her caller ID isn't fooling her.

"I'm sitting in a field," Meredith sighs… Meredith is suddenly a bit ashamed of herself as she explains this to Addison.

"In a field?" Addison asks, rather shocked and confused.

"Well, where are you, then?" Meredith asks Addison, wondering if she's also sitting in a field at this point.

"Umm, I'm ah, sitting up in bed and at home why?" Addison asks with a shrug.

"At least you're not sitting in a field," Meredith deadpans with a sigh.

"Why are you?-" Addison goes to ask this question but Meredith cuts her off, first.

"Tell me about LA, please, Addison. Or tell me if you know where Derek is," Meredith pleads Addison.

"Oh, I have no idea where Derek is, is he still with that McRebound? Nurse Rose? Was it?" Addison asks, and she realizes as she says this that her voice is not bitter in the way she might have thought it would be while talking to her ex-husband's ex-mistress.

_Addison realizes that this might be because said ex-mistress doesn't even know where Derek is… But Addison tries not to analyze this too much, at this point._

"Oh, ah, thanks anyway," Meredith says shyly, suddenly self-conscious for interrupting Dr. Montgomery's personal time.

"Are you waiting for him? For Derek? In the field?" Addison asks, suddenly putting the pieces together.

Meredith is, in fact, sitting in the field waiting for Derek. A field which she's created into a personal lantern festival on her… McDreamy's land out of candles and mason jars from the plans he had shown her of 'their dream house,' that he'd wanted to build her back before she'd broken up with him because she'd been afraid of commitment.

But Meredith doesn't want to tell that to Addison, now. Meredith figures it's because it's the ex-wife thing, and she doesn't want to rub it in Addison's face again, or be reminded of the stupid love-triangle-square-pentagon-hexagon? That they'd all been in, in Seattle. Or maybe she just doesn't want to admit just how pitiful she is again, groveling for a man who always seems to want to have his ego fed by more than one woman at a time…

"I'm ah, just sitting in a field. I think there are some daisies," Meredith says idly.

"Are they pretty?" Asks Addison.

"Yeah," Meredith says about the imaginary daisies, because there aren't any, but she's not going to say that hypothetical daisies are ugly.

"What color are they?" Addison asks her.

"Uh- it's dark and I don't know I can't see clearly," Meredith grits her teeth and lies again because she has no idea what color daisies are supposed actually be.

"Is it safe in that field? If you can't even see the wildlife should you be out there? Do you have a flashlight?" Addison asks Meredith, rather concerned.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm not moving just sitting. I have the light on my phone, it's just not on right now," Meredith offers.

"Are you sitting on anything? Because the last time I squatted in a field it was outside of Derek's trailer and I got poison oak on my-" Addison begins before she hears Meredith shout.

"OH MY GOD, THERE'S POISON OAK IN THIS FIELD!?" And that's when Addison realizes exactly which 'field,' she is talking about.

"I didn't know daisies grew on Derek's land," Addison says thoughtfully.

"I don't think they do. I just made that up. There are no daisies. I just didn't actually want you to know where I was. Until I just said that by accident because you scared me about the poison oak.

"I was serious about the poison oak. If you have not gotten poison oak already I suggest you stay sitting where you are and/or don't sit down again or lie down on that field just in case," Addison offers.

"Where did YOU get poison oak, anyway?" Meredith asks Addison.

"Meredith, I don't want to talk with you about where I got poison oak," Addison says pointedly.

"I mean where in the field, Addison. Not like, where on your body!" Meredith specifies.

"Oh. Right. It was behind the trailer," Addison says. "But the trailer could have moved since then, seeing it was wheels, so I'm not sure if that's helpful," Addison offers.

"Wait where did you get poison oak on your body though? Is it embarrassing?" Asks Meredith because she can't help herself but get this good gossip.

"Meredith!" Addison exclaims incredulously.

"What? Besides, Derek would just tell me anyway," says Meredith with a shrug.

"You're right, he probably would, the bastard," says Addison with a huff.

"Did he tell you about me? I mean, when he picked you that time?" Asks Meredith gently.

"He did," says Addison.

"I'm sorry," says Meredith.

"Why?" Asks Addison.

"Because I hated hearing about how he loved his wife, so I'm sure you hated hearing about how he loved his mistress," says Meredith.

"You were his girlfriend," Addison offers.

"Also his dirty mistress," says Meredith.

"I can't really deny that," says Addison with a chuckle.

"Where did you get poison oak?" Meredith is persistent.

"You're never going to give up on that are you?" Says Addison with a laugh.

"Nope! Besides, you hung my underwear in the hospital!" Says Meredith.

"You fucked Derek in an exam room!" Says Addison.

"You saved Cristina's life!" Says Meredith.

"You almost drowned!" Says Addison.

"You kicked Alex Karev's ass," says Meredith.

"You designed a clinical trial that Derek didn't even cite you for!" Says Addison.

"You defended me to the patient who called me 'the other woman,' on your very first day at Seattle Grace," says Meredith.

"You didn't know he was married," says Addison. "You really didn't know," Addison offers again.

"Well, I did at the prom. But I didn't before that, and I wasn't lying the time you asked if I was sleeping with him, I didn't until prom after I knew he was married," says Meredith quietly.

"He hurt you. He told me he wouldn't, but he hurt you again," offers Addison quietly.

"When did you ask him not to?" Asks Meredith.

"You were high as a kite," says Addison.

"Did I say anything embarrassing?" Meredith groans.

"Not really. At least not more embarrassing than the place I got poison oak walking Doc," says Addison.

"Which is?" Meredith tries.

"Not telling!" Says Addison.

"You've seen me HIGH, you can tell me!" Says Meredith. "Besides, I almost died like, four times in the past year. And Derek's picture was the front page of the clinical trial when it was my idea in the first place!" Says Meredith.

"If I tell you, Meredith, will you promise me something?" Asks Addison.

"What is it?" Asks Meredith earnestly.

"If he hurts you again, Derek, you can call me. Or you can leave him. Or both, either way Meredith, I just-. Look, I loved him once, you loved him once. I married him. You dated him. We both fucked him but not like, at the same time or whatever. He's a good man. But he's not better than you are. And I just don't want you to ever lose sight of that. If he wants you, he should have to earn it, you know?" Says Addison solemnly.

"Thanks, Addison. I promise you. If Derek hurts me again then I'll call you and you can help me leave him for good. I mean, hell knows you're the one who knows that better than anyone. I'm still hoping he's going to shape up but it's been two hours and I'm stil in his field by his trailer with 200 candles all designed in the shape of his dream-house or whatever. I mean, by now I could have rearranged them into the shape of a ferry-boat for him and he would never have known the damn difference," Meredith says frustratedly.

"Okay," says Addison, "thank you for promising," adds Addison.

"Okay," says Meredith. "Are you going to tell me where you got poison oak?" Says Meredith.

"Maybe, probably, ugh," says Addison.

"YOU PROMISED!" Says Meredith insistently. "Look, Derek lied to me but you never did. So please don't start now. If you really don't want to tell me that's fine but you said you would and-"

"It was on my vagina," Addison deadpans and cuts Meredith's rant off.

"SERIOUSLY!?" Says Meredith.

"Seriously," Addison sighs, wincing at the memory of it all.

"Wait was that the day you were walking all weird in the hospital?" Says Meredith curiously.

"Yeah," says Addison.

"Oh," says Meredith.

"What?" Says Addison, sensing something in Meredith's tone.

"Umm, I thought, umm, never mind," says Meredith sheepishly.

"WHAT!?" Says Addison insistently.

"Erm," Meredith tries to kill time but she's not sure she's getting out of this one anytime soon.

"Grey, I just told you where I got poison oak, you can tell me your alternate hypothetical explanation for me walking so weird," says Addison.

At Addison's use of her "Attending Physician voice,' that Meredith knows oh-so-well, Meredith takes a deep breath and gives Addison her answer.

"I thought you got fucked out really good," Meredith shrugs. "I was actually kinda jealous," she adds.

"Wait, you thought I was walking funny because of good sex?" Says Addison, rather surprised.

"Well, yeah," says Meredith. "You've never been fucked so hard you can't walk the next day?" Meredith adds.

"No?' Says Addison, suddenly having an extreme influx of fantasies about such a thing.

"Oh, well I'm sorry about that, wow. It's a good experience. I hope you have it someday," says Meredith genuinely.

"You hope I have such good sex I start limping?" Says Addison as she starts to picture all of this in graphic detail.

"Don't you?" Says Meredith.

Addison doesn't answer for a long time but Meredith figures out the truth when Addison's breath catches audibly over the phone.

"When this happened to you, erm, was it Derek who did it?" Addison eventually asks shyly.

"No, God no, it wasn't Derek," says Meredith with a laugh.

"Right," Addison says awkwardly. "I figured, but I wasn't sure if somehow he'd umm… Changed… His ah… Techniques since umm… Me…" Says Addison.

"Well, I mean I'm a different person than you so probably he was slightly different but did he do the thing with his finger-" Meredith describes this and then Addison confirms this.

"And with his tongue he was-" Meredith articulates and Addison confirms that as well.

"And with his-" Meredith continues and Addison confirms that Derek, like apparently Mark was to the Seattle Grace Nurses, was identical in his techniques with the both of them.

"Did you like it?" Addison deadpans.

"What?" Says Meredith.

"Him?" Says Addison.

"You mean the sex with him?" Asks Meredith.

"Yeah," says Addison.

"Are you going to answer me the same?" Says Meredith.

"Well, I suppose it's only fair," says Addison.

"Okay," says Meredith. "I did. He was good. He was slightly better than average. You called it though, I was more into the fact that he was a brain surgeon. And also his hair," says Meredith sheepishly.

"Slightly better than average?" Addison asks in a questioning tone.

"Yeah, like he wasn't bad. He wasn't near the worst. Wasn't near the best. He was just slightly better than average in the bedroom," says Meredith.

"And you built him a candle house for 'better than average?' And you're waiting for him?" Addison questions.

"Well, as I said. There's more to people than just sex. He's good enough at the sex, and he has million-dollar-a-year hands, and he has great hair, and he's strong and cuddly and he loves me so much," says Meredith. "Oh, sorry. About that last one," says Meredith to Addison. "I shouldn't have-" Meredith starts but Addison cuts her off again.

"It's okay. I already knew he loved you. He's said it in his sleep to me. I never told him that, either. I knew Derek loved you from the moment I walked into the hospital. He looked at you the way he never looked at me. The way he looked at a brain the first time he saw one in medical school. He was so in love, and it's okay. I'm okay with that. It's the truth anyway," says Addison.

"Did you love him like that?" Meredith asks Addison quietly.

"I think so? As I said, Derek was… Look I thought he was going to be the guy who never hurt me the way I hurt him. And in a way he still is because I cheated first with Mark, and it was worse because I wasn't fully in love with Mark when I slept with him but he was fully in love with you when he cheated on me, after. I picked him once, and I don't regret that. But I'm glad that I chose to stop trying to win him back," says Addison.

"You're probably better off. I mean, I'm still sitting in this field and it's getting darker outside and it's pretty and all and the candles are nice. But it's been a long time and I'm talking to you about him and I had this whole speech planned for him but I'm not sure I'll remember it by the time that he gets here," says Meredith wearily.

"You know he always said he was going to build me that dream house. He never did. But Derek would actually build it for you. He loves you enough for that," says Addison.

"I know. And it's so unfair. You were by his side for ten years and Mark loved you too and you were everything Derek could ever want and more and he threw all that away for a scrawny girl at a bar that he met in Seattle because you made one mistake. I'll never really understand that part," says Meredith.

"It was more than one night, Meredith. Mark and I cheated a lot longer than one night," Addison adds. Addison realizes it's funny how all of these honesties seem to slip out now that she's far away in LA and she's finally talking to Meredith one-on-one while neither of them are just drunk or high.

"How come we've never talked like this before?" Meredith asks Addison suddenly.

"As I said, the last time we did, you were high," says Addison.

"How come you're talking to me like this now?" Meredith asks Addison, piecing together that Addison was probably more honest with her while she was on morphine than she'd ever been with her before then.

"I have no idea," says Addison, and she realizes it's the truth.

"It's really nice though," says Meredith.

"It really is," says Addison.

"I don't hate you, Addison," says Meredith into the darkness.

"I don't hate you either," says Addison, because the last time she'd said it, Meredith hadn't remembered it after.

"Are you ever going to come to visit again?" Meredith asks Addison.

"Probably not," says Addison.

"Right," says Meredith.

"Are you ever going to come to LA?" Addison asks Meredith.

"Probably not," says Meredith.

"Right," says Addison.

There's a long pause of silence where both Addison and Meredith just sit quietly and hear each other thinking and breathing. It's comforting. And it's somehow warming.

"Meredith?" Says Addison suddenly.

"Yeah?" Says Meredith.

"I'm glad you didn't die," says Addison simply.

"Which time? The bomb? The bay? All the other times when I almost died?" Meredith offers.

"I don't know all of them?" Says Addison.

"Thanks," says Meredith. "I'm glad you didn't die too," says Meredith.

"When did I almost die?" Says Addison, wondering what Meredith could be talking about.

"Joe told me you were drinking really hard when I went to pick up Izzie's muffin container afer you'd apparently eaten them all," Meredith finally reveals to Addison.

"Oh," says Addison.

"I'm sorry you were drowning yourself because of me," says Meredith.

"It wasn't your fault, Meredith. It wasn't even Derek or Mark or Alex's fault. It was just me," says Addison.

"Do you blame yourself?" Meredith asks poignantly.

"Mostly," says Addison.

"I get that," says Meredith. "I tried therapy," Meredith adds.

"I'm proud of you. How's that going?" Says Addison.

"Umm, I sorta quit, but it was good," says Meredith.

"Right. I've been considering therapy," Addison says honestly.

"It's pretty good. I'd recommend it even if I hate it in the moment because it makes me take responsibility for my bad choices. You deserve it if you want it," says Meredith.

"I have made some terrible choices that I'm still somewhat in denial about," Addison chuckles.

"Such as?" Says Meredith.

"Mark," says Addison.

"I've done worse," says Meredith.

"What?" Says Addison.

"George," Meredith deadpans.

"YOU AND GEORGE!?" Says Addison.

"I'm AWFUL," says Meredith.

"Oh goodness," says Addison.

"Yep," says Meredith.

"He was in love with you, too, wasn't he," says Addison.

"Yep," says Meredith. "I wish I could have loved _him_ , you know? He's one of the best people I've ever met. He's like Finn Dandridge. He's just so _good_. And both of them wanted me. George was in love with me. Finn wanted plans with me. And I couldn't make myself love either of them. No matter how I tried to," says Meredith. "Also you're never going to tell anyone I just said that right?" Says Meredith quickly.

"Meredith, I just told you where I got poison oak. I wouldn't have told anyone anyway though. Maybe you have no reason to trust the 'Ruler Of All That Is Evil,' but I won't spill your secrets… Not that I really talk to many people from Seattle anymore anyway," says Addison.

"Thanks. And for what it's worth I won't tell people about your poison oak story, even Cristina and I tell her everything, mostly," says Meredith.

"There are things that you don't tell Cristina about?" Says Addison in a surprised way.

"Yeah, but those are the things I've told mostly nobody ever," says Meredith. "Do you have a person you tell mostly everything to?" Meredith asks Addison.

"Yeah, her name's Naomi Bennett. She's my best friend from medical school," says Addison.

"I bet she's lovely, I'm glad you have a person," says Meredith.

"Thanks, and she is," says Addison.

"Are there things you still don't tell Naomi?" Meredith asks Addison.

"Yeah," says Addison. "Again, mostly the things I've told nobody," Addison sighs.

"Don't you wish you could talk about those things to somebody sometimes?" Meredith asks rhetorically but Addison answers anyway.

"Yeah, sometimes. You?" Says Addison.

"Yeah, sometimes," Meredith sighs.

"Can I ask you something?" Asks Addison.

"Yeah, but I might not answer," says Meredith.

"Fair enough. But I mean- what is it about you? My husband fell in love with you. Mark wanted you, too even when he learned about your status as his best friend's lusty intern. Or maybe he liked that. Probably he did. I mean it's Mark. And George. And Finn. And just- everybody wants you and It's kind of appalling," says Addison.

"I have no idea, because I certainly don't think of myself that way. If I wasn't me I wouldn't want me," says Meredith bluntly.

"Right. I mean, I probably wouldn't want me either, if I wasn't me," says Addison.

"Are you saying this because you're wondering why those people didn't want YOU?" Meredith finally figues out to ask Addison.

"Kinda," Addison admits.

"I think you don't give yourself enough credit. Mark was in love with you, and he just didn't want to break your heart when he found out about you and Alex and the on-call room. Which I found out about somehow. Sorry if that was a secret. And Alex once told me how good you were at- well, y'know. And Derek would still look at you sometimes like he used to, even when he was with me. And he wanted his second chance with you. And I know it's different, it's professional and all but Richard Webber was grumbling for a month when you quit Seattle Grace Hospital," says Meredith.

"I didn't know you noticed any of that," says Addison.

"You're kinda hard to not notice," says Meredith.

"Right. The Derek thing. The wife thing. Right," says Addison.

"I was going to say something more along the lines of you're 5 foot 10 feet of pure gorgeous, you have a Phd., you're humble about that though to the point I never even knew you did the CF research until you told me off about doubting you but in a nice way. You were friends with Bailey which I consider an accomplishment. You literally gave Cristina back her chance at not-dying and didn't even ask her who the father was of the baby she never wanted. You were the best teacher that Izzie and Alex ever had (they told me that once), and you still have no idea how much everyone cares about you," says Meredith.

"Ah-" Addison blushes profusely from over the phone. Addison is glad that this isn't a video call because she's never reddened this hard before, not even when Mark told her how he felt about her. Addison has no idea why she cares so much about Meredith's approval, but she does. And she hasn't felt this desirable in ages.

"Also you have really nice breasts," Meredith says shyly.

"Uh-" Addison has no idea what to say about that so she just stutters and grunts a bit.

"Also I should probably explain that I have a bit of a thing for nice breasts," Meredith adds to that previous statement.

"Wait what?" Says Addison in a confused tone.

"I like them, you know? Like men are great and wonderful but they have those stupid boy penises that make them do the worst kind of things. And women have all these wonderful curves and breasts and hips and stuff and they're softer and gentler and nicer. They just usually are straight so I give up on hitting on them because it's so much easier to not have a shot at all, you know?" Meredith says as if this were the simplest thing in the world and not an admission that is causing Addison to nearly fall off of her chair.

"Wait, you're what- you like women!?" Says Addison.

"I just like hot people," says Meredith bluntly. "It's kind of my MO," she adds. "I just tend to find and fuck at least semi-hot-people when I'm drunk and alone. You should have seen the people I brought home after you arrived. Not because of you, I mean. It's not your fault. It's just because McDreamy had his McHot wife who cheated on him with McSteamy and I got a bit even more McSlutty after that McBastard had a secret sister McHottie who I thought was his McGirlfriend but as it turns out he's just related to Nancy," says Meredith in a ramble.

"Umm," says Addison awkwardly, as she now has images flashing through her mind of Meredith doing some very McNaughty with women and it's causing her skin too heat up all over.

"Have you ever been with women?" Meredith asks Addison casually.

"N-no," Addison says and realizes she just stuttered that last part.

"I'd recommend it. At least to try it. Though I'm actually surprised you've never been there before," Meredith shrugs again.

"N-no, I haven't," says Addison.

"Have you considered it?" Says Meredith.

"N-notreally," says Addison in one word.

"Why not?" Says Meredith. "I mean there's nothing wrong with trying right? You're hot and sexy, you could pick up a woman easily. I mean, you got McDreamy to freakin' marry you, and McSteamy to fall in love with you. And Alex to rave about you so why not?" Says Meredith easily.

"I'd never thought about it before," says Addison honestly.

"Seriously?" Says Meredith.

"I grew up in Connecticut," says Addison. "Plus my mother's a bit homophobic," says Addison.

"Oh, right. But then you went to New York?" Says Meredith.

"Yeah, but I was married to Derek," says Addison. "I never cheated on him with anybody but Mark in the end," Addison clarifies.

"But what about in your undergrad? I mean I was with many women through undergrad. I even took a gap year and travelled around Europe with my ex-girlfriend Sadie Harris when we went backpacking until she cheated on me in Amsterdam," says Meredith.

"I didn't date any women at Yale," says Addison.

"I'm sure there were lesbians at Yale. I've probably fucked lesbians on exchange from Yale," says Meredith.

"You're not sure?" Says Addison.

"We weren't really talking, just screwing. A girl I was with had a Yale hoodie on when I took her home then. She probably went to Yale but it could have been a gifted hoodie or something," says Meredith.

"Oh, wow," says Addison, suddenly imagining Meredith ripping off some girl's hoodie and giving sex to them and it's turning her on beyond reason. Addison can't explain it, she's never really felt that attracted to women before. Actually, that's a lie. But she's repressed all those thoughts and now they're all bubbling to the surface while talking to Meredith and it's really rather ridiculous how she's now picturing _her and Meredith_ , ripping each other's clothes off and Addison's really not sure how she's going to keep up this phone call without making it extremely obvious this topic is making her sweat.

But Meredith senses it, of course, she does. Meredith has spent years of her life seducing people, for the short-term or long-term or whatever.

So she knows when someone's attracted to her. Even over the phone. And even when it suddenly happens unexpectedly.

"Do you want to hear about how I've fucked women?" Meredith asks Addison bludly.

Addison swallows hard.

"Do you? I bet you do," says Meredith.

Addison gulps hard.

"Do you want to hear about how I've fucked THEM so hard they can't walk straight in the morning?" Meredith goes on.

Addison gasps hard.

"Do you want to hear about how the time I got fucked senseless the best I've had in my life it was a woman who did it to me with four fingers and her fongue against the edge of her bed?" Meredith smirks because she knows she's all but won.

Addison whimpers hard.

"Do you want to hear about all the ways I could show you how I can work my way around a woman's body, Addison?" Meredith all but _offers herself to this woman now._

Addison moans hard.

"Meredith," says Addison. "But what about Derek!?" She says, the first time in her life realizing she _hates_ MerDer as a concept for the exact opposite reason from all the times before now.

"He's not coming back to me," says Meredith. "If he's not here by now, he's probably still with Rose. And so be it, let him be happy with his candy-striper-scrub-nurse. She wants babies and a ring and a house and whatever. She's ready to settle down, even if she is a McRebound. And I'm not. But I'm ready to open your eyes to something you've never had before but that you totally deserve," Meredith says lustily.

"And that would be?" Addison says, nearly panting.

"To be fucked so good people think you got poison oak on your private parts all over again," Meredith says simply. "Because I think you'd really enjoy it. I know I would, Addison," says Meredith deviously.

"Since when have you wanted to have sex with me?" Addison squeaks out now, as she pictures Meredith Grey bending her over her desk and driving her wild and she can't seem to stop at the thought.

"Since you introduced yourself to me in the hospital," Meredith says smugly.

"But I told you 'Addison Shepherd, and you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband," Addison deadpans.

"I know. I remember. And your voice was so sexy I just wanted to find out why the hell Derek would hit on me in the first place if he had you to come home to," says Meredith forwardly.

"Umm, because I banged Mark in his bed at the Brownstone, mostly," says Addison.

"You probably had your reasons," says Meredith.

"I was lonely, and Mark was there," says Addison.

"See, reasons. People do desperate things to get attention. You yelled at Derek in the middle of the hospital to get Derek to care about you and he still didn't and he hadn't. I get it. I mean I've been sitting in this damn field for four hours now with 200 tea lights. I really get it," says Meredith.

"Why do we both want him if he doesn't want either of us?" Says Addison to Meredith.

"We're both fucked up in the same broken and turny ways," says Meredith.

"Is that what your therapist said?" Asks Addison.

"No, but she probably would, or Lexie would. She's smart like that," says Meredith.

"But you came up with that all on your own. You're still smart too, you know. And you're actually a good surgeon," says Addison.

"Thanks, Addison. You really know how to cheer a girl up. See! You'd make a great lesbian or bisexual or pansexual or unicorn," says Meredith with a grin.

"Thanks, Grey," says Addison.

"You can call me Meredith. I did just tell you how I had sex with like at least three people in gory detail. You can call me Meredith," Meredith offers.

"Thanks, Meredith," says Addison, something dangerous shaking in her voice when she says this to her.

"Do you really want to find out what Mark was missing out on with me, and what Derek had with me, and what you could have with me?" Meredith offers.

"Wait, what? Are you seriously propositioning me?!" Says Addison as she tries not to fantasize about this too hard (she fails at the not-part of all of that).

"Yeah, that's what that was. You heard me. I'm horny and tired of waiting for Derek and it could be cool to think about doing you while I'm undoing the favor I thought I was going to do for your ex-husband and my still ex-boyfriend," Meredith grins.

"How would that even work? I live in LA and you live in Seattle?" Says Addison.

"You could come to visit, or I could come to visit, or we could go on a trip to somewhere else together. Those are literally are only three options," Meredith deadpans.

"Right," says Addison. "Wait am I supposed to pick one?" Says Addison.

"Of course. If you want to. If you want me," says Meredith.

It takes about ten seconds for Addison to decide.

"Have you ever been to New York? I've always wanted to go back there and pack up some things. And I still have the two properties I got in the divorce?" Offers Addison.

"Nope, never been. But I'd love to visit the 'Big Apple,' with you," says Meredith in acquiescence.

"Only if we never call it 'The Big Apple," says Addison teasingly.

"You got it, Dr. Montgomery," says Meredith. "Hey, I gotta go, Derek's back and I gotta go break up with him. Call you later okay?" Says Meredith as she goes to switch off the speakerphone, but she doesn't seem to get there before she hears shouting.

"YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME, MEREDITH, WHAT THE HELL!?" Says Derek.

"You're with Rose, we're not even together, what does it even matter to you?" Says Meredith with a huff.

"But I was going to…" Derek shrugs as if he had something to say but he doesn't.

"Look, I had a love speech planned for you but you took five hours to come home and I'm done and tired of all of your bullshit. So go try the 'pick me, choose me, love me,' speech on Nurse Rose or whoever else you want to date but I'm not going back to you no matter how hard you chase me," says Meredith.

"But who are you talking to then, that you're going to call later?" Says Derek.

"Your ex-wife, Addison. Want to say hi?" Meredith asks smugly.

"MEREDITH!?" Says Addison, who still hasn't hung up the phone.

"ADDISON!?" Says Derek, as Addison winces because he's yelling into the microphone.

"To be clear, I haven't called her before today, ever. But we're going to hang out at your old house. She said she'd give me a tour," says Meredith snarkily.

"Wait, as in a friendish way or a like, girlfriend-way?" Says Derek.

"We haven't gotten to labels yet, we haven't even gone out yet. Plus that's between us and not you now, remember?" Says Meredith wisely.

"Wait, Addison, were you gay the whole time?" Says Derek in alarm.

"I have actually no idea," says Addison. "But don't talk to me about wanting to kiss Meredith, because that would make you the biggest hypocrite on the planet," says Addison.

"True," says Meredith with a giggle. "Also don't complain that I wanna kiss Addison, because that would _also_ make you a hypocrite," says Meredith while hearing Addison sigh about that over the phone.

"Okay, I get it. But just promise me one thing, both of you?" Says Derek.

"Yeah?" Meredith and Addison say in unison.

"Okay, well first of all you're both wonderful, and I can't pick sides here, so just don't hurt each other I guess. And also heads up that Mark is going to have a bit of a field day about this," says Derek.

"Right," says Addison. "I'll do my best not to hurt Meredith," says Addison.

"I'll do my best not to hurt Addison," says Meredith. "Also, McSteamy can just watch lesbian porn if he's actually that into the thought. I can send you the links to forward you if you want or you can tell him to ask me. You see, the good stuff is the queer-made ones, y'know?" Says Meredith casually as Addison can't help but moan before biting her lip and Derek chokes just a little bit.

"Umm, I'll let Mark know, umm, sometime," says Derek awkwardly.

"Also, you can keep the candles if you want," says Meredith.

"Why are there like 200 of them all over the field?" says Derek.

"They came on sale in a box that big," says Meredith dryly.

"You know there's poison oak in that field right? Luckily you just missed it though," says Derek.

"I've been told," Meredith grins.

"It's okay, I told her. She knows, Derek," says Addison who is still on speakerphone.

"So what, are you just going to visit Addison?" Derek asks Meredith.

"Yeah, I invited her over to The Hamptons," says Addison.

"Oh, you'll like it there. It's nice actually. Umm, I think I still have an old bus pass you can use if you want," Derek offers.

"See, this is why you're still McDreamy even if I don't want to date you anymore," says Meredith.

"You're welcome, Meredith. Look, I loved you, Addison. I loved you, Meredith. And now I'm going to try with Nurse Rose. I hope you're both well," says Derek.

"Thank you, Derek, it means a lot to me," says Addison.

"Does Addison like it when-" Meredith whispers something into Derek's ear.

"She'll love the thing you do with your tongue," Derek chuckles. "And you'll love the thing that Addison does with her lips," says Derek.

"Thanks, Derek," says Addison. "You know, she was building you a replica of the dream house. Just so you know what you're losing and what I'm gaining here by dating Meredith," says Addison.

"It is a really nice candle house," says Derek.

"You can show it to Nurse Rose and pretend you built it for her if you want," offers Meredith.

"Really!?" Says Derek.

"Yeah. But only if you never give either of us a hard time about dating each other, ever," says Meredith.

"Done," says Derek.

"Okay I'm going to walk away from the field now," says Meredith.

"Watch out for the poison oak!" Says Addison.

"I'll drive her home, and we can all be friends later if you want," says Derek to Addison.

"Thank you," says Addison.

"Thank you, Derek," says Meredith.

When they hang up the phone and say goodbye to him that evening, they know it's for the last time with turmoil, and for the first time they're not competing for him in the slightest.

As soon as Derek waves goodbye to Meredith as she's safely through her front door, Meredith makes her way up to her bedroom where she dials Addison's number for the second time in that very evening.

"Hey, Addie, can I call you that?" Says Meredith.

"Sure, Mer, can I call you that?" Says Addison.

_They stay on the phone planning their vacation together 'till dawn._

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***** **END OF CHAPTER 1**

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_Author's Note:_

Whoa! This is probably one of the longest one-shots I've ever managed to complete before posting it all at once.

It's possible that I might write a follow-up, either the phone conversation directly after and/or their trip together to The Hampton's in New York.

Let me know if you'd be interested in that! Otherwise, thank you so much for reading this and take care :).

###  [bobbiejelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly)


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